Friday, June 17, 2005

Husband snores?

This is not a good solution to the problem.

June 16

Jim left this morning for California. I hope that he has a great time, that his dad is surprised, and that he has a nice visit with his sisters and his dad. I am jealous though of his respite from home matters. I am trying to stay calm, positive and optimistic, but I do not find that an easy thing to do at the moment. The kids were fairly well behaved today. Joey's team got trounced tonight, and while I was at the game, I was talking to one of the other mothers about Jim's trip and the fact that I don't go anywhere. She said that it is my fault, and that you have to make time for yourself. There is some truth in that, but at the same time we are looking at a lot of limited resources at the moment; time is only one of them. Also, where would I go? I looked up the airfare for my dream trip today - $1747 per person for JUST the flight! I think that I will wait till next year when Egypt comes to Chicago, kind of a small bit of Egypt; I mean they can't ship a pyramid or the Sphinx to Chicago! This mother that I was talking to has a husband who runs his own office; he is in a profession where he can set his own hours and take as many vacation days as he can afford. THAT doesn't happen in a regular job. You get "X" amount of days and the rest of the time you belong to the company. Jim is very lucky to work for flexible and understanding bosses, but there is a limit to my free time because there is a limit to his free time.

Do you know what I miss? The theater! I miss learning lines and chasing down props. I miss calling cues and ordering directors around. I miss the smells - sawdust, paint, makeup, and sweaty bodies. I miss the cast parties and the late nights at Fridays trying to figure out how to pull it all together and wondering if that one cast member is EVER going to learn his/her lines. (There's one in every cast; sometimes there is more than one - ARGHHHH!) I miss the teamwork and the socialization and the sense of accomplishment.

I've got to go to sleep now. 7AM will be here sooner than I'd like. Also, just so everyone knows, I love my kids like crazy, and I know that they will grow up way too fast. They come first right now, and sometimes that is a hard fact for ANY mama to handle. At times the sacrifices are easy to make; at other times the sacrifices seem to be too difficult. I am in a "difficult" time right now. The sacrifices seem all encompassing and overwhelming. Goodnight.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Rough Day

Ok so today started fairly well. We were all up and dressed before 9AM. Things started to fall apart very quickly. For one thing, due to a late night last night, Jennifer, my 4- year - old, and Jonny, my 2 - year - old, have been cranky all day. There was a light saber battle with the vacuum cleaner extension tube; Jen got the worst of that one with a clunk on the side of the head. They are not sharing or compromising on anything; so there has been a lot of screeching and crying all day. Josie, my 2 - month - old, had her second bottle at 10AM; she returned it to me at 10:30AM, all over me and all over her. She got a bath; I got clean clothes. Then I wanted her and Jonny to take a nap. JonJon went to his bed with no trouble, but it took a good hour to get Josie settled and asleep. After Jon woke up, I went outside to clean up a little in the camper. Jen and Jon followed me out there. I came back inside to get something, and before I could get back out there, they had found a blue highlighter and wrote all over each other! I mean faces, arms, legs, hands and clothes were all colored blue. Ridiculous. Both got scrubbed and put in the corner. They will need a complete bath tonight in between thunderstorms. (The camper was not damaged.) Finally, Jonny dumped a half a glass of Dr. Pepper on the white carpet in the family room. Joey left the cup within reach and Jonny got ahold of it. Joey got to help clean that up. (The white carpet was here when we moved in; I did not choose it.)

I wonder why I don't feel like cooking tonight? I wonder why I have a headache? I'm going to post this quickly now because the thunder is rumbling again...